It was me, my childhood bestfriend Thesa, her Mom - Mama Thelma and my daughter Zofia eating at the table. Out of nowhere, she asked me, "Mommy, did you have other boyfriends before you met Dada?" The first question made me look at Thesa, gave her a look with one eyebrow raised, for she knows everything from the start. In my mind, "Oh man, this question of curiosity I am sure will lead to another big question she actually wants to ask me." The way I know my daughter, she is very inquisitive, yet at her age, it is not the right time for us to reveal details of our love life, as it would require a lot of maturity for her to understand what relationship really is all about. Discussing my relationships and my exes would need not just an article, it will require me to write a book about it, yep! 2 long term failed relationships and how complicated. So I asked her, "Why do you ask about that?" She replied, "Because when I finally decide to have a boyfriend and when Dada lets me get a boyfriend, I would need your help to choose the right one." That made me and Thesa laugh out loud. Choosing the right man was a struggle for me too, of course she did not know that. At the age of 30, I was still even confused about the RIGHT MAN, seems funny to think we get to help her make that decision. I told her, "There is no need to rush for it, but when he is the right man, you would know, because we would all approve of him, whoever he is." The next question was, "So how old would I be when I know it is okay to have a boyfriend and to make sure he is the right man?" I wanted to roll my eyes, me and Thesa got married in our 30s and I do not want to tell her to wait till she is 30 so I just said, "When the right time comes, the right man comes. He will not be perfect, he will not be fitting at first to all of your expectations, but as long as he loves you, he is sincere, he loves your family, respects you, would never lift a hand to hurt you, he would not abuse you in any means, then you would know in your heart. Most important is, do not keep secrets from Mommy because I will help you figure it all out. For now, enjoy time as a child, enjoy your family, worry about such later. You have a whole lot of other things to accomplish, just listen to Mommy all the time." And then she said, "I want someone like Dada, because Dada loves you and he loves us." These words might not mean so much to her at the moment nor would not even make any much sense, but I definitely will remember every word released to her especially now that we are grown ups, settled, married and raising a family. I am in between wanting her to learn life the way I did to make her as strong as I am, but I would not want her to go thru the same stupid mistakes I have done in my life. If she could avoid being young and stupid as I did, I would prefer that, yet as experience has taught me, it will serve as a guide for me to lead her the right way. For now, let's hold that thought and I will enjoy her being a 9 year old. No more boyfriend talks at all.
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EmilyAnderson
And now these three remain: FAITH HOPE LOVE. But the greatest of these is LOVE. I LOVE to write, about LIFE, LOVE, PEOPLE, EXPERIENCE, day to day life and INSIGHTS. I love to Travel. I travel a lot, I create Video blogs on my travel as well as I write about experience, culture, highlights and knowledge. May this site serve you well. I will be open for comments and suggestions, as well as topics I could write about. Thank you very much. Archives
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