GLITTER DUST OF MY MIND. SOLILOQUY.
As I laid myself in bed, putting David and Zofia to sleep, I thought about how the kids have grown. It felt so good to just close my eyes and feel them right next to me, hearing their breathing. It felt so great to be alive, to be breathing and felt so at peace having my babies. Not realizing, my happiness caused me tears and I didn't wipe them. The kind of tears you just let roll down your face and just enjoy the sweet feeling of joy. Oh Tears! Why do you just come rolling down my cheeks without even me realizing?
TEARS. It reminded me of the conversation with David the other day. Whenever Zofia and David are playing around and sometimes when they end up teasing each other, Zofia ends up crying. Then Zofia will tell me what David has said and has done that made her hurt. She is the more vocal and open about her emotions and all else, compared to David, he is the more secretive and not too open about telling what he feels. I spoke to David just by himself and asked him why does he keep teasing Zofia. He was staring at me and tears just started to well down his eyes. I was not even in an angry tone nor being intimidating, I just asked him calmly. Then he started crying and not telling me. I told him sometimes it is alright to cry, though sometimes you have to be strong not to cry so you can express what you want to say and not choke on whatever you wish to say. Mommy: David, mommy is not scolding you, Mommy is not angry. I am supposed to be your best friend because I am your Mommy & you can tell me everything, I will understand and I will be the best person to explain things because I am your Mommy. David: I cry, because I am hurt and I don't like it when you get upset with me. Me: That is why it is important to discuss, talk openly and you tell me your side. You don't have to cry, it will wound your heart. Mommy is strong and doesn't cry, have you ever seen me cry? (I felt confident saying that) David: Yes I saw you cry, I remember that day you were crying in bed, while someone I couldn't remember was screaming, scolding you & hurting you. I remember you were crying and when I remember it, I cry cause I get scared you will cry again. I was surprised and wasn't expecting that answer from him. He was 4 years old then, he is 8 now. But memories like such matters a lot to our children that's why we have to be cautious we correct these bad memories in their minds. Me: David, have you seen Mommy cry again since then? That was in the past and we all have to forget that. I do not even remember it nor think about it, that is why it has to remain in the past. We have bad memories in life, but it is a choice what we keep and what we remove from memory. Mommy is happy and won't cry again, because Mommy's heart is healed. From now on, you have to promise me to let go of that bad memory and live to be happy. I promise you I will not let something like that happen to us again. Kissed him on the forehead and he smiled. |
AUTHOR
And now these three remain: FAITH HOPE LOVE. But the greatest of these is LOVE. I LOVE to write, about LIFE, LOVE, PEOPLE, EXPERIENCE, day to day life and INSIGHS. I love to Travel. I write about experience, culture, highlights and knowledge. May this site serve you well. I will be open for comments and suggestions, as well as topics I could write about. Thank you very much. Enjoy! |