GLITTER DUST OF MY MIND. SOLILOQUY.
Homecoming in December, meeting the Passion and Projects team was one of the highlights. I was excited, as meeting Project Manager Jen Murillo, whom has been a friend of mine since 2003 thru ISTORYA.net. We have worked together in the past for projects related to the Cebu music industry when I was then working at a local recording studio in Cebu. MEETING THE TEAM. Imagine meeting a lively team who are all passionate and full of desire. Passion and Projects is a team of artists called together for the same excitement and LOVE FOR THE ARTS. I am an advocate myself and I would like to do my part through sponsorships for the events. The meeting in December was both an introductory as well as a celebration of the successful events the team has launched. Meeting each one of them was awesome as it was a melting pot for a whole team so outpoured with talent, ideas, plans, dreams, goals and aspirations. Meeting such a team will give a boost as well and be in touch once again with the creative side of yourself. Hearing the artists' stories, travels they have been, it's impressive & overwhelming at the same time. It makes me happy to see a whole team dedicated fully to their commitment and living the dream of doing what you love to do. So this February, Passion and Projects will be going places bringing to you MAKE IT HAPPEN Art Workshops. Floramie Rose Rolian, co-owner of Blinkbox Photos Cebu and calligraphy artist, will be teaching watercolor brush calligraphy while Josephus Bartin, an internationally renowned artist, will be teaching portrait painting.
If you would like to know more about it, like the PASSION & PROJECTS page on Facebook. What are you waiting for! Sign up for the Portrait painting! Book your slot! I had been wanting to write about this topic for a very long time but I just never got to complete the flow of thought. Plus it is a sensitive topic.
Now, one of the worst things you can do to yourself. LIE. Do not lie and live on with that lie until it becomes truth. I hear people saying that if you keep your mind to it and you condition your mind on something, it becomes real. Yeah, I learned on the power of positive thinking and read books on that but a lie is a lie. No matter how you make it so embellished and sugar coat it. It is better to know truth in your heart no matter how much it hurts. Can you imagine of all people you lie on to is yourself? It is even just between you and yourself, if you can't even tell your own self the truth and accept it, how would you expect other people to believe and accept it too? Self honestly is self acceptance. Know who you are, what you want and what makes you really happy. Live in the TRUTH instead, nothing makes you sleep so good at night where you have nothing that burdens you at all. Never thought it would bother me that much, I miscalculated my capacity to repress. It gave me nightmares for 2 consecutive days. Thursday night, as we were on our way home, we saw this couple fighting in the sides of the street and one guy in the middle trying to stop them. Imagine this: The guy wants to punch the girl in her face while the girl is taunting the guy, adding fire challenging him to punch her. Ooh bad idea girl unless you are some Ronda Rousey. I was looking at that direction and to my surprise, the angry guy looked at me with such saucer huge eyes and screamed profanity in his dialect, which I translated as "What are you looking at huh? Mind your own business!" Though when he did that, in my mind, the gesture is decoded to Eric as "you wanna fight Man? Why you staring at us? You wanna fight?" In my head, "Dude... You can't just challenge strangers to a fight? Hahaha that's just dumb and stupid."
I signaled to continue walking, I held to Eric just in case he wants to jump in. But Eric don't wanna walk and just kept looking at them. Then we saw the guy spit huge amount of super eeeeewwy yucky chunk of slimy unhygienic saliva in her face. Damn nasty! We walked slower, just in case.... The girl will ask us to help her. She didn't, she just tried to hit back and fight for herself. It's hard, to see another woman, being physically hurt in public, it messed up my emotions so bad. It was a battle to help or not to help. We all know it's an argument between a woman and a man, we're not even sure they were married or not, It's just a pain to see though a man hitting a woman. Eric said he saw him hit her in the stomach and punched her. It enraged me inside. It messed me up inside. It stirred up so many emotions that I wanted to call the police. They continued with their being a source of public nuisance, we watched from afar, then some Indian guys chilling by the park started to come in between them to help. It made me feel better, in some ways, I assumed they will not let the guy hurt her anymore. We continued walking. Somehow I wished we could have done something about it. In my head, I remained to question, what could have been the best thing to do in such a situation? When is okay to meddle at other people's affairs without being part of their mess? Or should we just tell Ourselves to HUSH? Domestic Violence is REAL. If it can happen outside much more in the households. I know a few women who went thru it, stayed thru it, moved on from it. Luckily, they HEALED & SURVIVED. Wrote this January 18, 2016, on my grandfathers birthday, we still celebrate. My Dads' Father, The Don Constantino Vargas as fondly remembered. He passed away in 2001 but his memory remains. He was very smart and hardworking man, a man of few words, a great businessman and a great grandfather to me. I come to visit him for summer vacations, sometimes he picks me up from my parents home after school is over and brings me to travel. He brings me and my younger brother to Tubajon. He takes me to his vast land, he takes me to their resort, he takes me to his large rice fields, his coconut plantation, his crops, banana plantation, his properties. He takes me up to the mountains, showed me how to plant Sweet potato, showed me how to plant trees. He took me to the peak of mountains, the deep forest, lakes and rivers. He drives this very simple rusty motorbike and every time he goes to pick me up in the afternoon while playing with other kids and he always ask me to ride his bike. I remember I tell him I'll just walk instead of ride his noisy rusty motorbike. I was young but I had preference at a young age so I always say back to him and I felt a little embarrassed. "Grandpa, if you have that so much money, why do you have to drive an old motorbike, so rusty and noisy? You can always buy a new shiny one." I was 7 years old. He replies, "Well, even rusty and old, it serves me well. It works, it runs and it's personal to me. You only buy a new thing to replace it when there is nothing left you can do to fix it. When it's not useful to me, I don't sell it. I keep it in the backyard, so when you are old, you will remember me. You will see my old rusty bike and say, oh this is my grandpa's bike!" He takes me up to the mountains, showed me how to plant Sweet potato, showed me how to plant trees. He took me to the peak of mountains, the deep forest, lakes and rivers. He was right. That worked PERFECTLY. There is no way you and your memories get off my head! I wish you know that. He was right. That worked PERFECTLY. There is no way you and your memories get off my head! I would never forget those lines, I wish you know that. No matter how old things become, we don't throw it away. We have to understand the deeper meaning of those lines, he meant Family heirloom.
Now I understand why my dad has a very huge collection of random stuff in our backyard and his work area. He keeps a lot of things in storage and keeps a lot of our memories intact. He is the same. From generation to generation. Little did I realize, I am the same. Though mine is digital as I am in the new generation, but I have 8 external hard drives, full of photos, videos I have collected and those passed on from my Dad, old photos of his parents, us from when we were kids until now that I have my own kids. My in laws are the same, from old photos too old tables, passed on from generation and stored in storage rentals. One day when I am also old, I will teach my kids the same. Treasure your moments and family is love. The trip I kind of dreaded, not because of the long travel to get there, but because I am avoiding something I also wasn't sure could be true. Arrived Tubajon, it my fathers hometown. My Mom is from Cebu, we come home a lot more often to Cebu, but going to Surigao is quite rare. My dad and family don't live there anymore, this is my grandparents ancestral home. We flew from Cebu to Surigao on an early morning flight. Then we spent the night in Surigao City before we headed for Dinagat Islands on a 4 hour boat ride. Peaceful like always, the boat docked and I saw that familiar sign, Welcome to Tubajon! Smiles as you see people excited seeing their families get off the boat. Then I saw my aunts' face, smiling and waving, excited to see me again. It's good to be back here again, it has been a while. The last time I stepped foot on this land was during my grandfathers burial August 2001. Hugs, hi, hellos to family, as my aunt introduce me all over again to people I am not familiar anymore.
Then it's time for us to go to the resort we will be staying, we had to walk past my Grandparents ancestral home. But then, all that are memories in my head. I walked by the same lot I used to call Mama and Papas home, I couldn't hold tears, the house burnt down to the ground years ago after both passed away. The memories of that home, photos, books, clothes, everything they owned and worked hard to achieve, burnt to ashes. It has been years since the house burnt down, but only that exact moment it sank in to me, only then I really mourned that we lost it. I let myself cry. I mourn for the memories. I went there not mainly for vacation, but to visit my uncle and his family, who is the Mayor of Tubajon, and to see Daddy's younger Brother & family. Other than seeing family, my other purpose is to see my Grandparents grave again and visit them. So without delay, I wanted to see them. Drove towards the direction of Del mores, where you drive past rice fields and a small bridge, then you will see that mountain where they were buried. Only the two of them are buried there. Their graves are on the very top of that, so you would need to walk and climb a little bit to get there. Finally, I have reached. It was more than emotional for me, good to see you again Mama and Papang. I knocked on the front writings of the grave, shouting, "Mama, I'm here. Honey is here. Papang, I have to come to see you. I brought my husband too. I got married Mama, Papa." It has been a loong time. Tears flowed but I had to wipe it fast and hide it, my husband was there and my aunt, dads younger sister. We lit a candle and brought sky flakes, placed on top of their graves. In this is how it feels when you lose people you love so dear. It hurts inside, it makes you cry longing for those people. But I didn't know it hurts now like how it did when they passed away. They have left the world for so long, but my heart has always been with their memories, because memories with my grandparents has made a lot of impact in my childhood. Like I said in my introduction, I kinda dreaded visiting that hometown, because it makes me cry, remembering my grandparents leaving us so early. Though moments like these makes us love more, and Love family, loving our Moms and Dads while we have them, loving your siblings, loving those that your heart can love while we can, knowing one day, all we would have of them in the end, will be memories. After the visit to the grave, we were taken on a tour to visit the family properties. I left Tubajon with a heart that is happy and fulfilled. I have kept my promise to visit their grave once again. Headed back to Mommy and Daddy's home in Cebu. There are nights I will cry because I miss them again. It has been beautiful having spent time with my closest family. Thanks for the beautiful memories. I love you Mama and Papang, always. I will always be your dearest grand daughter who will travel nautical miles just to see you both. It was all worth the trip just to visit your grave. We will see you once again.
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AUTHOR
And now these three remain: FAITH HOPE LOVE. But the greatest of these is LOVE. I LOVE to write, about LIFE, LOVE, PEOPLE, EXPERIENCE, day to day life and INSIGHS. I love to Travel. I write about experience, culture, highlights and knowledge. May this site serve you well. I will be open for comments and suggestions, as well as topics I could write about. Thank you very much. Enjoy! |