GLITTER DUST OF MY MIND. SOLILOQUY.
I would always remember my Mom telling me how important it is for a mother to bond with her children. I have high respects for my mom for a million reasons. She is mother, a best friend, a role model, a career woman and a very faithful Wife.
She was able to bear 6 children and raised all of us well and most importantly, now that I am a mother myself, I realized she was a Mother who played such an impacting role to early mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and psychological development at well. Motherhood. At a young age, I saw how my mom took care of all of my siblings and managed our home. She had me when she was 21, despite the young age, she did an amazing job. For me, she was wonder MOM. She wakes up early, to make sure the nannies prepared breakfast. She wakes me up early to make sure all of us has showered on time, she prepares our snacks, she sends us to school, then she goes to work, we meet during lunch and eat together, then we go home late in the afternoon together. I love her cooking! All of us love it when she bakes and cooks for us. I vividly remember all the things she did for me when i was a young child and even till now that I have my own kids. Funny but true, people would always remember me as the little girl who dances at all parties as a young kid. I went to school at an early age, as young as 2 years old and a half. When i asked mom why, she said because she was excited of me going to school and learning, but if i ask Dad, he would always say it was Mommy who was too excited. She was the reason for all the confidence I had in myself. As a little girl, she always tells me how pretty, talented and intelligent I am. Sometimes, I doubt hahaha! But since she says so, I believed her. I found Mommy very pretty because I bring a picture of her in school and I brag about how beautiful and sexy she is. Most of them will say, "Really? You dont look like your mommy!" Hahahaha! Oh well, it didnt bother me though. Mind conditioning does work, believe me. How funny! Because she tells me I'll win if i join. It could be anything! And she was right. I would say talent is innate for everyone, but it has to be developed and molded too. You gotta have the RIGHT TRAINER for that and the best motivator too! Motherhood never stops. Its passed on from experience to experience. Now that I am a mother, I may act like my Mom as to raising my child,but one things for sure, she did her best. I have made my own mistakes in my life and made a lot of stupid decisions, all of those were my own rebellion. My Mother never lacked on advise. She was an example. Too bad I learned too late that Obedience is such an integral part, if only I listened to my mom all the time, instead of my own decisions and voice, I would have had a much straighter past. On the lighter side of things, even if her hair has changed or her waistline changed from 24 to higher (as she always tells us) but her BEAUTY never faded. The same way I found Mommmy so beautiful when i was still a little girl... I still find her as the PRETTIEST WOMAN on EARTH Im sure, when Im old, my kids will also love me the way I love my own Mother. We LOVE YOU Mommy! Love is the most beautiful thing in this world.
Love for me is the most wonderful thing I have ever given and received that makes all things in the world beautiful. Love for me makes the clock tick as the TIME chases it's LOVE and it NEVER STOPS. It is the reason why the earth revolves around the sun and never gets tired of doing so because earth can't live without it. Love for me is the yearning of the grasses and flowers for the morning dew and the mist in the air knowing they expect it no matter what circumstance. Love for me is the reason why you smile even when you are alone j ust thinking about your first kiss and makes you laugh like crazy because you remember the person you love. Love for me is the reason why I can make more and more articles and inspiring me to write a good book, inspired to tap my creativity all extent possible. Love for me is the reason why every morning is beautiful and every night is superb, plus the reason why everything in this world makes sense. Lying in the sand, watching the bright sky, the moon so bright and you can hear the splash of the sea water by the shore. Then my girlfriend asked me, "Honey, how would I know it's time to LOVE again?" A private person as she is, heart issues is not something she discusses with me. But that night, she did. I had to postpone my skygazing to accommodate her. I told her how I learned to start over again. My heart, due to long term exposure of hurts and pain from immature, selfish relationships, it got so bruised. "I had to go thru so much that you could imagine; pain, abuse, hurt, neglect. I decided to give myself a break and ended the long term relationships. Enough Honey, after a decade and a half of being in a relationship, I said it is time for my heart to REST."
I remember that moment I made the decision that I will let God take over. To be visual, That day I took my heart out of my chest and looked at it in my hands, I saw a calloused heart, too strong to feel true love. A heart that was strong but was bleeding and almost dying. A heart that had too many cuts, wounds and burns. A heart that needed a complete open heart surgery. And I started asking, "Why Lord? What have I done to deserve this?" And He responded with a Why too; "Why are you afraid? Why are you always afraid? Why are you afraid to give your heart to me? I am your God and I am faithful. I created you, I know you more than anyone else. Give your heart to me." It brought me to tears. How could it be so hard to let go of such an ugly heart that I should have thrown away? I wasn't worried of the pain. The reason that it was not easy because that heart has kept so many things into its depth. It could be broken from the outside, but to it's core, there lies all my great memories of love, affection from loved ones, wonderful dreams, promises kept, smiles of people I treasure, words that kept me strong, beautiful hopes, childhood memories, my family, my treasure. I managed to keep them alive despite everything that I had to go thru. God is all knowing and God is faithful, I gave Him my whole heart. He held it in His own hands and kept it. He left with my heart. I waited. I waited patiently. I seek Him everyday because He was holding my heart. I come to Him in humility and prayer. Then the day came at His perfect time, He called my attention. I was eager with excitement! My mind was racing, I keep wondering how He could be repairing my heart, fixing it and polishing it. Then He revealed His wonderful surprise. When I opened the gift, It made me more than delighted. God gave me a NEW HEART! Not the old one with stitches and repairs, a totally brand new one! That moment was too beautiful to describe. The heart that I have inside is new, changed, in very good condition, that is why it could love with so much intensity. It is a fresh heart, very beautiful, unharmed, beating, blissful and always grateful. It changed everything around me. I thanked Him for giving me a new heart. To my surprise, As I prayed in thanksgiving, He touched my heart once again and pinned to its core a tiny little seed. A seed that looked like a very sparkling blue diamond and it started branching out into beautiful small green vines covering my whole heart from inside out. Imagine my heart, with a hole in the middle with the blue diamond and emerald green vines coming out of it enveloping the whole heart and locked it. The diamond has all the beautiful dreams He has given me since the day He created my Mothers Womb. Dreams that God placed in my heart, dreams my parents planted, dreams that I started to build. The emerald vines I later knew, are called Strongylodon macrobotrys, those were the memories that I have made and treasured that made my heart strong. From then on, I kept this heart pure and safe. I safeguarded it. He added something new. He placed a Red Ruby that started giving pure LOVE, burning PASSION, Strong DESIRE! The kind of love that I never thought I could give and the kind I never thought I could even offer. "Honey, how would I know it's time to LOVE again?" When God says it the right time, after He checked all your intentions and desires, after He gives you a new heart. I guess that's why now i always say and feel like I am feeling everything I am experiencing like it is my first time. Emily-Honey. May2,2013 "Guard the heart all the time because it is the wellspring of life. The heart keeps all the DREAMS! The HOPES! The ASPIRATION in Life. The MOTIVATION. The GOALS. The PLAN! Out of the abundance of ones heart, the mouth speaks and what your heart is full of, defines your way of life. Your heart is where all your treasure is. That is why we Keep the heart safe because all of what matters is kept safe in the HEART. We can't let the guard break and be not fortified, because we don't want all that of our hearts desires to be robbed, stolen, broken into pieces, corrupted and ruined. Build a Strong foundation soaked in TRUTH, FAITH, HOPE and LOVE"
|
AUTHOR
And now these three remain: FAITH HOPE LOVE. But the greatest of these is LOVE. I LOVE to write, about LIFE, LOVE, PEOPLE, EXPERIENCE, day to day life and INSIGHS. I love to Travel. I write about experience, culture, highlights and knowledge. May this site serve you well. I will be open for comments and suggestions, as well as topics I could write about. Thank you very much. Enjoy! |